For Every Woman Who's Gone on Vacation- My All Inclusive Man

I met him on the beach

While i was working on my tan

He said something in spanish

That i still don’t understand

But it really doesn’t matter

Cuz he’s such a sexy man

This poem is dedicated to

My all inclusive man.

His teeth were white like diamonds,

And his skin was sun kissed brown,

He watched me as i lost my speech,

And looked him up and down.

And though not very stylish,

His pants were way too tight,

His shirt the early 90’s

And his “hip hop”

Not quite right.

But when he took a hold of me,

You wouldn’t understand,

The magic that can happen,

With an all inclusive man.

He thought my name was “Risho”

Rachael didn’t come out right,

Oh Risho, You’re so sexy,

as he held my body tight.

The only words that I had learned,

From my tour guide in the day,

Was Cervaca, Ola, Mi Amor,

Had nothing more to say.

But my all inclusive Jose,

Made it all just seem ok,

Because the latin language needed,

was only needed in the day.

He asked me who I’m here with,

If my husband is near by,

I told him that I’m single,

And he says “oh mami..why”

He tells me “God,I love you’

And that I should stop my search,

Because he’s a senior pastor

And my body is his church.

Now don’t think I got it twisted,

I knew it was a fling,

But I thought I’d let you know,

Jose, he taught me many things

Jose, he liked them chunky,

My curves he held on tight,

He rolled me like a dumplin,

and although I’d try to fight,

I had an ah ha moment,

And it all just seemed alright,

My all inclusive Jose,

Loved me up throughout the night.

The next day by the pool,

My walk it had a swing,

I whistled as I sashayed,

Did a meringue /salsa thing

I ordered my Cervaca,

and then I wished upon a star

Dear God,

Please let all the men in Toronto turn into Joses

Minus the really tight pants and the shiny “Stiches” shirt.

Please god, let all of them like chubby girls and let all skinny girls

break their ankles while dancing on the dance floor.

Amen.

Ok, back to the poem.

I left just 3 days later,

And as the plane touched down,

I was greeted by Toronto boys,

Who live with me downtown.

The ones that stand in night clubs,

And never speak a sound.

You know the ones,

The pretty boys,

Who dress up to the nines,

No need to ask a girl to dance because they know their fine?

And their pants they’re fitted perfectly

Their shirts are always sharp,

But when it comes to romance,

They’re completely in the dark.

I’m sorry guys,

You might be mad,

You might not understand,

Perhaps I’ll give your email

To my All inclusive man,

And he can give you pointers

So you can change your action plan.

Because,

HEY!

I heard you women’s on vacation,

And she’s got and all inclusive man!