Brick by Brick...I see you...

I wished ...

I prayed...

You arrived.

I ran.

Feeling safer in a place of unrest. Giving in to ideals of what a man should be, should look like, should offer, should not offer. Being aware that much of this is bullshit, but choosing to continue the mess from the messages my mother told me, who was told by her mother and her mothers mother. These messages that we have allowed to seep into our brain and stir up our souls. The kind that make stupid mistakes. Mistakes that make us ..

Wish..

Pray..

Run..

Taking a deep breath when I do finally run, and look back and don't see you there, then suddenly realizing that running doesn't feel as good as I thought it would. That perhaps if I had thought about it a bit longer, chose to stay and embrace your goodness, accept your invitation to love, create a new story that spells out that there is no need to run.

So tonight

I take apart the wall that's been up for so many years. Brick by brick..and while this wall is high, and strong and at times impossible. I will attempt to take it down and if I can't...I'll climb over it to reach you on the other side.

I'm tired of running. It's time to walk towards you.