Seven years ago, after a drawn out break up, I was determined to keep myself busy. Calling close friends and setting up a schedule to ensure that I did everything from movie night, to crafts, to anything that would keep me from thinking about "him". Every day, I'd drive by this store where I saw packs of crazy people, running in groups on the side of the road, and as I sometimes splashed them as I drove by, it didn't seem to matter; They kept running.
Somewhere between the heavy schedule laid out by my friends and the "don't call him, call me" phone calls from my tightest crew, I began to feel like I needed something more. If those people can run, so can I right? I signed up without thinking about it and was set to start the following week. The day of, I almost drove past. Couldn't imagine what I was thinking. It was winter, my hair would get wet..I'd surely get splashed on the side of the road like the people I splashed almost every day.. But I pulled in, walked through the doors, and in that moment, I didn't realize, what an amazing life lesson I would learn.
I laced up my running shoes and picked out a baby blue running jacket that all the other pack members seemed to wear in the colours of their choice. With light reflecting strips down my arms and on my back, I took my first step. Week after week, I went back. Daring to do just a little bit more. Push a little bit more. And the more I ran, the less my heart seemed to hurt. The farther I went, the farther "he" stayed out of my mind. Weeks later, my body started changing, I felt alive.
I made friends with 3 other women. All from different walks of life. On the street, we would never have met. All from different backgrounds, some older and some younger than others. It didn't matter. We were the "sex in the city" girls, except with running shoes on and a few pounds to lose..I took the role of Carrie of course..lol. We ran our first marathon months later. Crossing that finish line, taught me, that in order to get to where you need to be, you need to be able to believe that you can.
Then I got hurt.
Running to fast too quickly, my ankles and the soles of my feet ached for me to stop. I didn't run again until 3 weeks ago.
I put back on my blue running jacket that held secrets and history of all the conversations and laughter and sometimes even tears, that the four running woman shared, as we ran in the early morning or late at night under an observing moon. I stood in front of the mirror and remembered why I put this jacket on in the first place. This time, I put it on for a whole new reason. Not for anyone else. Not because I was trying to forget, but because I want to take that first step again. Run that marathon because it makes my body feel good. Not because I need to distract myself from a heart too heavy to keep up with my busying feet.
It's funny. Whenever I see packs of women running in their jackets, I often think. "What's their story? Are there stories hidden in the pockets of those jackets? Are they the woman I was 7 years ago? Are they running because of pure joy? or are they trying to forget? Regardless, they are running.
I have a new friend who has put on her running jacket. And for whatever reason she has chosen to zip up and hit the road, we're doing it together. Every kilometre, every extra minute we put on the clock, is another minute that confirms our success. The snow blows, the rain falls down on me and wets up my hair, the hail beats against my cheeks until they feel numb..but it's a wonderful feeling.
Daring to do something that you never thought you could do, is the greatest feeling in the world. And what started out as a mission to forget, is now a wonderful memory of strength, sore feet, wet socks, friendship and laughter.
It began with a baby blue running jacket.
Take that first step with your life. You'll be happy that you did.
Rachael-lea
