I'm in my 30's...BUT...I am NOT a Cougar!

The other day I was frantically looking for a pair of boots. Being a skinny legged girl, finding a pair of boots that fit me, is like finding a girdle that looks cute ...it just doesn't happen. While looking in shoe aisle...I heard a woman not too far away from me say "God dam it, I just want to find a comfortable pair of boots, I'm in my 30's man, I just want to be comfortable"...I laughed to myself and gave her the thumbs up. We both understood. Being in my 30's brings me to whole new place. A place where I am comfortable. I still believe in sexy...just not necessarily 9 inches off the floor all the time. My days of killer heels...are officially over. Now that's not to say I won't sacrifice a night of heels that shoot me to the sky and make my calves pop, but wearing them every day? Get the hell out of here! Forget that!

That experience brought me to my next thought.

I think sometimes there is a misconception about women in their 30's. That for some reason, when a woman moves into (what is by the way, probably the sexiest time of her life) her 30's, she begins to be categorized as a cougar. For me, I still have not embraced this word. I'm not going to try and cute it up either, by calling myself a sexy tiger, a jaguar or whatever else women try and use. Let me be very clear, that I DO NOT embrace this word. If you do...knock yourself out sister, I'm just not joining in with you.

When I think about a cougar, I think about an animal that is ready to pounce on her unsuspecting prey. To devour them alive without even a chance to run. I my friend, am not a "pouncer" and do not plan to eat any man alive (unless fully intentional..lol) Why is it when men get older, they are not named after some animal?

A man once said to me, when women get older, they go down in value...when men get older, their stocks rise? Are you kidding me right now? I feel I am in the most valuable time of my life. I am much more certain about who I am and what I stand for. I am ok to say NO. I do not define myself by age. I define myself by the amount of dreams I have accomplished.

Ok, let's get back to the definition of a cougar. For me, a cougar is the definition of a woman who is much older and searches out the company of a younger man. Yes? But lately, I've been hearing that if you're older and single and not married, like it or not...you're a cougar...

I suppose there will always be groups of people who embrace words. Fat, is now PHAT, and plus size women everywhere are embracing those words...I wish I could be one of those women, but I'm just not.

So, I'd like to personally ban this word. Because due to what others may think, not all women in their 30's have the words "please date me and marry me quick because my ovaries are screaming" scrolled across their foreheads. Not all women in their 30's want or desire the company of a younger man. Not all women in their 30's feel the need to be something they are not.

I don't need to dress provocatively to be sexy. In fact, the less provocative I dress, I think it's actually much sexier.

I drove by a bunch of 20 something women last night who were standing outside of a night club. Shivering their asses off, wearing next to nothing. I remember being that girl. And as I slipped off my flat heeled but sexy boots last night. Turned on the fireplace in my bedroom and snuggled into bed...I knew that although I am brave like a lion, and make space for myself in this city like a cougar does in her den, I am not a cougar. I am sexy 30 something who knows who she is and demands from others what she deserves.